Just 'cause I don't run my mouth...

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Chris Knight - It Ain’t Easy Being Me

"I had to work to be the jerk I’ve come to be."

I’ve sat here for five minutes staring at this and laughing trying to come up with words to put here.  Can’t.  Gotta get back to staring and laughing.  BRB.

(Source: sportsnetny)

Then there was the time I put pork in the crock pot in the morning and forgot to turn it on.

Fuck!

Hey, George, I’ll see your John Deere hat and raise you a Daffy Duck shirt.

Hey, George, I’ll see your John Deere hat and raise you a Daffy Duck shirt.

mlb:

Elvis Andrus swings at pitchout, did not hit pitchout.

Rangers had the hit and run on and Elvis took it seriously, dammit!  Funny thing is that the catcher’s subsequent throw sailed into center, the runner was safe, Elvis ended up grounding out and the runner went to third.  As hilarious as the gif is, it worked.

mlb:

Elvis Andrus swings at pitchout, did not hit pitchout.

Rangers had the hit and run on and Elvis took it seriously, dammit!  Funny thing is that the catcher’s subsequent throw sailed into center, the runner was safe, Elvis ended up grounding out and the runner went to third.  As hilarious as the gif is, it worked.

pbnolonger:

You know people when you do find somebody

Hold that woman, hold that man

Love him, please him, squeeze her, please her, hold her

Squeeze and please that person, give ‘em all your love

Signify your feelings with every gentle caress

Because it’s so important to have that special somebody

To hold, kiss, miss, squeeze and please

Everybody needs somebody to love

Sweetheart to miss
Sugar to kiss
I need you, you, you

(Source: franny-squalor-glass)

tastefullyoffensive:

[@tedalexandro]

tastefullyoffensive:

[@tedalexandro]

(Source: daliathedork)

mlb:

Sometimes, you don’t even need a catcher.

mlb:

Sometimes, you don’t even need a catcher.

Just did 5 miles in 1:04.11. If I die tonight, know I enjoyed our time together.

And tell my family that I loved ‘em.

And clear my browser history.

And delete my Tumblr.

And drink a beer dedicated to my memory.

And bury me upside down so my critics can kiss my ass.

Amen.

Boobs.

Both of the hot moms are wearing long sleeves and pants as opposed to cute Easter dresses. I call bullshit. Tha Lord has seriously let me down this year.

That means I can’t with good conscious go with my annual Easter tradition tweet: For hot moms in cute Easter dresses, we give thanks and praise. Amen.

Addendum since I didn’t get this sent before church started… Found a couple hot moms in cute dresses hiding in the back. Amen.

Been a while since I’ve busted out the black Justin ropers to go with the black suit and pink shirt. 

Happy Easter, folks.

Been a while since I’ve busted out the black Justin ropers to go with the black suit and pink shirt.

Happy Easter, folks.

Friday! Friday! Friday!

- Had BBQ at a place I’ve direly wanted to try in DC. Had really high expectations but it was just good. Damn shame for as pricey as it was. Meats were good but not great, sides and desserts were awesome though.
- Walked around the national mall. Didn’t clock it but pretty sure we walked 5-6 miles.
- So. Very. Tired.
- Skipped dinner and watched Diners, Drive-ins and Dives for two hours so clearly I’m going to dream about eating all sorts of stuff.

'Murica.

'Murica.

Minor Dilemma

Working now on the Ohio / West Virginia border.  Buddy has free tickets to Pat Green and Cory Morrow in Baltimore tonight.  I love me some Pat Fucking Green and have seen him live no less than 10 or 12 times.  He puts on a great live show.  

I’m driving toward home here shortly (four hours), but Baltimore is another hour or so further.  As much as I want to go to the show, the extra hour and back to Baltimore does not sound appealing at all.  Add in the fact that the free show would likely still cost damn near $50 in parking, gas, beer, etc. and I’m leaning toward not going.  I haven’t been home in two weeks and a quiet night at home with the fam sounds rather appealing.

But live music is always a great, great thing.

I don’t know.  I’m tired, but I want to go out…